So here it is. Here is the truth about me. I am a cutter. I cut people out of my life. I do. But there are so many reasons behind it. Tell me if you have been here?!
Someone spreads rumors about you, you confront them. They someone in the timespan of a month or two have been able to turn friends against you that you have had for 5 years. What do you do? You didn’t even actually do anything to these other people, let alone the rumors that were spread were completely false. You point out to the person who spread the rumors that the people they are “friends” with are the same one that have turned their back on them becaus they just wanted to party. They are the same ones that “stole” your boyfriend from you. You are able to forgive them, but I get none? And for what?! What did I do? I didn’t hang out with you, I borrowed your clothes (as you did mine)?
So I cut. I cut that person and all my old friends out of my life. No one ever even asked me if the rumors where true… and no one even told me if exactly what she was spreading besides saying I was cheating on my then boyfriend (I can assure you I did not).
Somone is upset at you for telling your husband a story he has heard a thousand times over. Your husband decides it has gotten to the point where he needs to involve/share this with the dad. The person is mad at your because of your husbands actions. When you tell them that you did not know he was going to say anything, they don’t care. Yet, they have forgiven a person who has done them wrong 100x’s over and I get the ax because of something my husband did (which he did for a good reason.. he was not being a gossiper). Then they come back years later wanting to be your friend again, but still won’t say they were wrong in the first place?! I cut.
The problem with my cutting is that I never just cut the one person. I cut everyone. Anyone that sides or has compassion for the person I am cutting (when they know what happened), I cut them too. I cut so many people out because I am so hurt by one person.
I say I am able to separate relationships and I am.. as long as it is not me who is getting screwed. I am able to separate my mom and my sister having a fight. I am able to let someone confide in my about a friend without it being an issue for me and the other friend. I am able to separate, but when it comes to me.. if you side with the wrong party then you got to go.
But where does that leave me? I will tell you. It leaves me with me…. but I am so stubborn on the subject that there is no way I am able to let people back in without an apology of sorts. I am a person who needs to hear the words I am sorry or I was wrong or it came out wrong.
Things from almost 10 years ago still piss me off, so obviously there is no forgiving or forgetting with me. I am a grudge holder for 2 people that used to be in my life and because of the one person I lost about …. 15-20 friends. Because of the other, I lost them…. which was enough to hurt especially cause I spoke to this person literally everyday for close to 2 years, if not a little more.
So there it is.. are you like me?
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Anger, Depression, Forgiveness, friends, Hurt, Love, relationships, Sadness, Sorrow | 2 Comments »
Ok, so here is my whole take on the gay marriage thing. Some of you will agree, some of you will disagree and some of you will call me a bigot I am sure. Here is goes:
I have no problem with gay people being able to marry. After all it is only the sexual part that is a sin and after marriage sex is pretty non existant anyhow right?! Hahaha. Ok I am joking here. However, I do believe the act of having sex with the person of the same sex is a sin. I do not believe that it is up to me to tell people not to live in sin. There are plenty of people who engage in premartial sex (this is a sin), adultary (this is a sin), pornography (this is a sin), and the list goes on. The only difference here is that people who choose to continue to have sexual relations with the same sex are choosing to sin for the rest of their lives in that particular fashion. There are also a ton of straight Christians that do not marry and decide to live together for the rest of their lives. Both parties are in the wrong but I would still be friends with either.
The only problem here is that most Christian churches and I am pretty sure 100% of Muslim churches do think that this is a sin. So if this does happen what happens to the rights of the church? Will they be forced to marry same sex couples or face a fine? Will they be foreced to have homosexual leaders on their pulpits? I know of many straight pastors who have had to step down due to their sexual sins being found out. So to me it is a given that a person who is daily choosing to live in sin should not be the head of the church. I would say a man choosing to live with his girlfriend should also not be the head of the church either. It is not a gay or straight thing, it is a sin thing.
I think that we do love the sinner and hate the sin. If my child ends up being gay I would tell them this. I love you and you will always be welcomed in my home. I do not think the lifestyle you are choosing is a correct one, but your partner and you are always welcomed here. You will not sleep in the same bed together (as I would not let a boyfriend and girlfriend who live together sleep together under my roof) but our house is your house and there is unconditonal love here. That would be the end of discussion. I would show them love and grace, let’s be honest they will know where I stand on the issue but I am able to move past it because having a relationship with them is more important.
Like I said as long as religious institutions can turn people away from being leaders due to their sin (no matter what it may be) I am fine with it. It is when the religious will be called bigots, haters, blah blah blah.. that is where I know I am going to have a problem with it.
Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »
So apparently our government now sees being German, Christian, and homeschooling a threat. Such a threat that a German family who LEGALLY sought amnesty here now faces deportation due to the fact that in Germany homeschooling is illegal (granted by one man named Hitler… let that sink in). Please read this article. http://www.inquisitr.com/567261/obama-administration-trying-to-deport-christian-family/
Copy and paste it since I have no clue how to link it… sorry guys
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged America, Christian, Conservative, family, German, Germany, Government, Homschool, Kids, Obama, Parents, Students, Tennesee | Leave a Comment »
OK, so I have a midwife in NY who is going to help me bring my son into the world. YAY! However, in Jan we moved from NY to NJ (just from Feb-mid March). I had an appointment Feb 18 which I had to cancel because we had just got back from vacation and I did not want to take another day off work.
When I canceled the appointment I was told how dangerous it was to cancel this appointment. I was pretty upset that they used such a strong word. What do they really mean by dangerous?! I mean my last appointment we did nothing. It was a complete waste of my time. Basically, I told them it is what it is and I would call them when I knew more about my schedule.
Well today I called and made an appointment for March 20. The woman was like, um can you come in today?! I said no, I am 5 hours away. I can come in March 20 or any point after that date. Again, she told me I was being selfish and I needed to come in right away. I told her, that I feel him move every hour. I eat properly. I have not been sick and I am in no way harming my child. She got upset with me!!
Ummmm. It is my pregnancy and I could choose never to come into the office. I could choose to do this at home by myself with a doula or at home midwife. I am granting them permission to check me and the baby out, not the other way around. I am paying for this treatment, they are not entitled to see me. I make the rules here! I am the purchaser. They can tell me guidelines but in no way are they in charge of my body.
And to tell me I am harming my baby?! NO, there are plenty of moms out there that do harm their unborn child with drugs, alcohol and other things. I am doing none of those things so they can just stop.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Baby, Midwife, OBGYN, Pregnancy | 1 Comment »
Hello, hello. As some of you will see I have been on your page. I have liked your posts and or commented on them. I only looked through DEC but I know I have missed much more than that. I have not seen all of you or caught up on all of you but I am trying.
SOO what has been going on with me you ask? A lot. We moved recently from NY to a place near Cape May, NJ. It is beautiful here. We have a condo on the water and it is perfection. I also am working from home here, so me, belly and pj’s get all the time in the world to do work without stress. I LOVE it!
We recently got back from a trip to Turks and Caicos, it is where Trent and I spent our valentines day. We went with Trent’s side of the family. His Dad and Stepmom made it possible for us to go, and his sister came along too. It was simply one of the best vacations of my life. We relaxed, read, played, and just really enjoyed one another’s company. Usually on vacations with my side of the family there are attitudes involved, so it was nice not to have that! Not to mention it was beautiful where we stayed… do you want see? I am not trying to make you jealous but just know you will be.
We had our own house and it was spectacular to say the least..
So now we are back home and getting ready for our baby BOY! His name is going to be Hunter Bradley and we are very excited for him to come out of my belly so I can put some cute clothes on him Hahaha. We are just excited for him in general but there are some cute outfits in waiting for him.
So in a nutshell that is what has been going on. You know we are movers and shakers! I should be able to post a bit more, now that I have internet service at home (which I really did not in NY).
I have missed you guys! xoxo
Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments »
Hey all! So sorry I have been gone for wayyyy to long. I have not even had the chance to catch up on everyone and what you are all doing. I will, I promise.
I have been a sleeping beauty. When I get home from work I make dinner, take a shower, and hop in bed. I literally fall asleep within 5 minutes of me resting my head on my pillow. So needless to say between work and sleep there has been little to no time.
We are still in New York! We have not moved yet but are planning on heading back to New Jersey here in January. So our life never stops.
We are getting ready to head to Florida next Friday for Christmas! We are so excited. It will be wonderful.
The baby is doing great. We get to find out if it is a boy or a girl next week!!! Also Trent turns 29 next week. Soo much going on so little time.
I love you and miss you all!!! We will talk soon.
Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments »
We just could not hold it in. We told Trents family this past weekend and we told my parents and sister via SKYPE.
We went home for Trent’s dads suprise 50th birthday! We got into the city around 11:30pm. Trents mom picked us up and we got home and handed her a box. She opened the box and inside it was a pic of Trent and I holding up a sign saying “Can we call you Grandma?”. She got up and gave us hugs and immediatly started showing me things she had kept from when Trent was a baby. It was so very sweet.
The next morning, Trent’s sister L came over to drop her car off for us and we gave her a box with a picture saying “Can we call you Aunt Lindy”. She jumped up and screamed and gave us hugs and was super excited too. Everyone was just so happy and so thrilled for us. It was awesome. It makes me want to have more news like this all the time. HAHA! I love making people happy.
Later on that night for Dad’s suprise birthday party we all dressed up like “hicks” and strolled down the hill singing Happy Birthday. Dad stepped outside to a group of his friends and family and locked eyes with Trent immediatly. I think he was on the verge of tears. It was an amazing sight and then Trent and I went inside and got Dad and Smom (step mom) together, we sat them down (it was really my step mom’s birthday and dads birthday is this Sunday) and handed them their own boxes. They opened it and could not read it because it was dark upstairs and so I blurted out “It says Can we call you Grandma”. Immidiatly Smom burst into tears, Dad was fist pumping saying “I am going to be a GRANDPA” “You guys aren’t joking right?” and Smom yelled “This is going to be the most spoiled baby ever… I am going to be a Grandma”. We had a huge group hug and it was just wonderful. SO MUCH FUN!
When we got back to NY, I thought about the waiting to tell my parents until Christmas thing. I told Trent “If my mom buys me clothes it is going to be a waste of money, cause I won’t be able to fit into them for a long time” ANd I am sure I will have gained some weight since then. So Trent decided we could SKYPE and tell them.
So I wrote on my belly in eye liner that “I’m Pregnant”. I got my parents on SKYPE for the first time,which was a chore in itself really. HAHA! And my dad was just about to leave to go to a pool tournament and I said, wait… I have a rash and I need you to look at it. So my parents are both peering at me through SKYPE and they go.. WHOA What is THAT? And i come closer to the screen and they look at my belly and then look into the camera and say “Really?! Is that true?!” (apprently Trent and I joke around too much.. no one believes us) We say “YES!” and everyone is excited again!
I get off with them and tell my sister to SKYPE me. She says she is sleeping and I say “give me 5 minutes and you can go back to bed.” I do the same thing to her as I did my parents and she is excited and we talk about how cool it is and then she says she cannot go to bed! HAHA. It was soo much fun telling them. I wish I could tell people something cool everyday. THAT would be fun!
So that is how our family found out. We are still not telling other people yet because we are still “in the woods” but once I hit my 2nd trimester I am going to be screaming it from the rooftops! YAY BABIES!!!
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Baby, dad, Fun, grandparents, Joy, Laughter, life, Love, Mom, Parents, Pregnant, Secret, Sibling, Sister, SKYPE | 14 Comments »