Archive for January, 2012

OOOO my goodness you guys! Today Trent and I went to look at the new area we will be moving too next weekend. We went to several hotels and let me tell you, they were soooo gross. Sorry people who live in NJ, but this place is STUCK in the 90’s. You guys pay a ton of money for really nothing good. Again, sorry but so true. Take it from a girl who has lived all over, your stuff is over priced. However, we found this apartment right next to the gross hotel. They do short-term and month to month leasing. YAY. It is 735 sq ft, which is HUGE to me. I mean I seriously thought I died and went to heaven, but when it is 2x as big as the place I have been living in for the past year, I guess it would be huge. *Side not, I told Trent the first house we buy is going to be so small because our version of living space has been so small* Moving on though, living in the hotel would be the same amount a month as living in the apartment, but here is the catch. In the hotel we can check out whenever we have to no problem. In the hotel if we sign a 6 months lease it is 250 more a month than a 12 month lease. You are allowed to break your lease, no problem. The only thing is you have to give a 30 day notice and you have a penalty fee of one month rent. On top of a cleaning fee that gets taken out of the security deposit. So it would only make money sense to live there for 5 to 6 months. If we stay any less time we lose out on a bit more money. UGH. Decisions decisions.

So that is what is going on over here. Just having to make a choice on what to do with our living situation. Pray that God just makes it clear for us.

Nighty night

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I have no heart.

Oh my goodness. Am I the only one who has no problem cutting people out of my life? I am not saying this as in I drop people for no reason. I drop people for good reasons. Background:

I had a friend that I grew up with. She was the one that introduced me to everything bad. Like smoking, drinking, said I needed to have sex, fibbing to my parents. Things like that. Well when she was 16 she got pregnant. I told her to keep the baby, she did not want to. So she did not. She got pregnant at 17 kept the baby and got pregnant again and 19 I believe. I was there for her through it all. I was there making bottles, feeding kids, putting them to bed, cleaning house. I went to college and came hom and was still their for her. Her father died while I was at college. I got the call in the morning as was there by the afternoon. I was there. I mowed her lawn, did her hedging, washed her car. I did it because she was a kid with kids and I loved her. I did not want the people in the neighborhood looking down on her for her house not looking good. One day i realized that while I was doing everything, she did nothing. All her conversations were about her, her entire life was about her. We all knew she was prettier, skinnier, and better than me. When I was unhappy with how she was behaving it was because I was not cool. Ya know? So I woke up one day and just never called her again. The End. I did not give reason to her because we did not have a fight, I just realized I was really the only friend in the relationship. Not fair.

I have cut off more people from my life for pretty much the same kind of reasons. Or for different reasons entirely. The fact is I am pretty cold about the situation. I just do not care. Now someone in my life is trying to do the cut off thing but failing at it and I just do not understand. When I tell this person to simply just stop what you are doing, and it will go away because the other person never calls or cares unless it is about them. So it will be over pretty quickly. But they just can’t do it and I end up looking like I have no heart at all. The fact is I do, I just have a heart for people who have a heart for me. This person has been trying to cut off the other person for some time now, but they keep getting sucked back in because they keep reading out to them. Not the other way around. So there comes a time where I just don’t have pity for the person who is trying to do the cutting.

Am I the one missing something? Is it hard for everyone and I am just some cold person? I like to think of myself as logical. Maybe I am not.

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*Guys- as in men, this may not be the post for you. So you may move on if you wish at this point in time.

*Girls- if talking about girly things makes you uncomfortable in a public forum, you may wish to leave now.
– All of you who decide to move on today, I will include you all tomorrow ūüôā

Everyone else, I am glad you stayed. I will not go into too much detail to make anyone sick, BUT every month for one day I am down for the count. I have to leave work, I come home sick. I have about 1 hour when the back pain kicks in before it will be hard for me to walk. I hurt in my front and in my back and nothing helps. Things were bad when I was young and first became a woman. I got on birth control and got off birth control Nov 2010 because I did some research and it is something I just no longer want to put in my body. For those of you who do use birth control, that is your personal decision and this blog will never tell you what to do with your body.

The problem is I have to miss work because the pain is debilitating. Trent had never seen this before but he had the chance to last month. He was SHOCKED to see my pain and tears he also saw how I pass out because the pain gets so bad… Which is a bit scary to see I am sure. He knew things were not good when I would asked to be taken home but he just had no clue. Today he was out of the office and I had the pain set in. We drove into work together this morning and he left running an errand. I called him and told him the pain set in… if you think I joke about my pain in a room filled with men he said “Oh, NO! I am leaving right now to get you” He actually said Oh no with such emotion I could have cried knowing he knows I am not just being a baby.

I went to the doctor and nothing is actually wrong with me. My uterus and ovaries look “beautiful”. My tests come back normal. There is nothing wrong with me. SO what do I do? Pain killers do not touch it (and I rarely even take advil because I am not a big fan of taking drugs when it is not completely beneficial.. so when I do take them it should work) and I do not want to go on birth control again. I can’t keep missing work and what if this happens on vacation? It would be horrible. If someone told me today we could leave right now and go to Hawaii.. I would tell them I would just have to wait till tomorrow.

What do I do??!! Any suggestions?

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we moved!

Hey everyone! We got an email last night saying to come to New Jersey and work out of the office. So we packed up what all we had left in the room and left this morning. We got to the office around 2pm , worked till 6pm, checked into the new hotel, ordered pizza and now watching House!

Thanks everyone for your prayers, kind words, and thoughts the past couple days. You guys uplift me more than you know. Wish me luck with work this week, it is going to be a bit tricky.

Nighty night!

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Happy Friday! I got to work from home today and oh my goodness. I was so busy it was crazy, but I was in the zone! I love when work goes by so quickly like that. When I looked at the clock it always jumped 2 hours ahead, so it was super fast day.

Where are we going you ask? Oh we still do not know. The jobsite is buttoned up completely. The office trailers left this morning at 7:30am. We still have no clue where we can go. We do not know if we can go home, we do not know if we should head to the NJ office. We know nothing. SO for the time being we will continue to hang out in our hotel room , which is fully packed. So I am really trying not to stress here people, but it is literally taking everything I have to reign it in. No good.

So because we have no clue where we are going and we found out our winery was having a scratch and dent sale on their red wine, we decided to go ahead and run up there. We purchases a case of wine, then continued to go and buy 3 bottles of champagne and several more bottles of wine from different wineries. Needless to say we opened a bottle tonight. Hahaa. I told Trent, we may have no place to live but never fear….. we have wine! We sound like we drink all the time, when in reality we have a bottle of wine MAYBE once a month. Everything in moderation right?! Haha.

Ok so that is the update. Pray for me please. I am starting to get like…. well like feeling I really want to know where I am going. When it really does not matter. We have enough money in the bank, we have cars that work, we have one another and best off we have a God that knows what He is doing.

Nighty night, I will keep you posted.

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This is going to be quick: ¬†It is Thursday and we still do not know where we are going. ¬†Needless to say a little bit… on edge. Not stressed because Trent and I get to stay together no matter what. ¬†So at least I have him. I would just like to know if I get to go see my parents or not. Ya know?

Ok, thats it for tonight.


Nighty night ūüôā ¬†Wanna pic? Ok.

This is of me and my sister in law Lindy! We went on a hike (same hike as the pic from yesterday). Lots of fun!! Love her!

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Did you forget about me?  I did not forget you, but I have been kind of busy.. Kind of lazy.  Let me do some explaining.

So, we are moving this Friday. ¬†Which is pretty normal. If you will remember from previous posts such as Too Much…blah¬†and Saying sorry. wah wah¬†either way I am not very pleasant during these times. ¬†My new years resolution was to be a bit better in this department. ¬†So this weekend Trent decided we should get ready to move. ¬†Things were pretty much packed, but my house was a mess. Messes stress me out for some reason. ¬†I am not sure why, but I just cannot seem to sleep if I know something really needs to be cleaned. Ya know?

Ok moving on. So like I said.. New Years Res blah blah blah. ¬†I completely shut down! ¬†I am not talking a little bit, I am talking a lot of bit. Like completely just sitting and doing nothing and feeling overwhelmed. ¬†Thank God Trent bucked up and was able to take over the family chores. ¬†Now do not get me wrong. ¬†I made breakfast lunch and dinner. We worked out. ¬†I got things done, just not packing. When Trent and I sat down for dinner on Monday (when it was all over) I told him I realized that I did nothing. ¬†I said “There has to be a middle ground. ¬†Something between stressed and shutting down” ¬†He said he thought I just did not want to go outside and be cold. ¬† I said, well that too!

I am happy he did not think less of me and I am kind of glad he realized I do not like the cold. Hahaha. That is a boys job anyhow right?! ¬†Haha ¬†So that is what is going on here. Oh and in case you want to ask where we are going… I have no clue and we are moving this weekend.

Good times Good times!

Wanna see a pic of us in beautiful MI?


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