Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

So here it is. Here is the truth about me. I am a cutter. I cut people out of my life. I do. But there are so many reasons behind it. Tell me if you have been here?!

Someone spreads rumors about you, you confront them. They someone in the timespan of a month or two have been able to turn friends against you that you have had for 5 years. What do you do? You didn’t even actually do anything to these other people, let alone the rumors that were spread were completely false. You point out to the person who spread the rumors that the people they are “friends” with are the same one that have turned their back on them becaus they just wanted to party. They are the same ones that “stole” your boyfriend from you. You are able to forgive them, but I get none? And for what?! What did I do? I didn’t hang out with you, I borrowed your clothes (as you did mine)?
So I cut. I cut that person and all my old friends out of my life. No one ever even asked me if the rumors where true… and no one even told me if exactly what she was spreading besides saying I was cheating on my then boyfriend (I can assure you I did not).

Somone is upset at you for telling your husband a story he has heard a thousand times over. Your husband decides it has gotten to the point where he needs to involve/share this with the dad. The person is mad at your because of your husbands actions. When you tell them that you did not know he was going to say anything, they don’t care. Yet, they have forgiven a person who has done them wrong 100x’s over and I get the ax because of something my husband did (which he did for a good reason.. he was not being a gossiper). Then they come back years later wanting to be your friend again, but still won’t say they were wrong in the first place?! I cut.

The problem with my cutting is that I never just cut the one person. I cut everyone. Anyone that sides or has compassion for the person I am cutting (when they know what happened), I cut them too. I cut so many people out because I am so hurt by one person.

I say I am able to separate relationships and I am.. as long as it is not me who is getting screwed. I am able to separate my mom and my sister having a fight. I am able to let someone confide in my about a friend without it being an issue for me and the other friend. I am able to separate, but when it comes to me.. if you side with the wrong party then you got to go.

But where does that leave me? I will tell you. It leaves me with me…. but I am so stubborn on the subject that there is no way I am able to let people back in without an apology of sorts. I am a person who needs to hear the words I am sorry or I was wrong or it came out wrong.

Things from almost 10 years ago still piss me off, so obviously there is no forgiving or forgetting with me. I am a grudge holder for 2 people that used to be in my life and because of the one person I lost about …. 15-20 friends. Because of the other, I lost them…. which was enough to hurt especially cause I spoke to this person literally everyday for close to 2 years, if not a little more.

So there it is.. are you like me?

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*Please sing the title of the post* ūüôā


So Trent and I moved out a couple days after my sister left us.  We made our way back home and one of the first things we did was apply to get a gun!  YAY gun freedom in America.  So we went to a locally owned store (buy local when you can) and I chose the new addition to our family.

Me signing the paperwork so we can take the newest baby home with us.  This is my first gun purchase.  Trent has a hand gun but I did not, so it was a pretty exciting moment for me. Wanna know what I decided to get?  A Smith and Wessen Body Guard .380.  She is all black and has a laser you can hit on either side of the gun.  She is soooooo pretty, but I do not actually have a good shot of her.

Here is me with my new purchased baby.  Now if you are wondering why we got a laser on it, it is because I feel if you are really in a situation where you are going to have to shoot someone, you wanna make sure you get them. If you are defending yourself it is because someone is doing something illegal and you wanna make sure they stop.  So that is the reason, but it does not mean you do not have to practice shooting. So practice I did!

The next pics are me in my pj’s so please excuse the hair and overall look.

You will notice in the pick that I am right handed but yet my right eye is closed.  Yes, that is correct. I shoot with my left eye because I am a nut!  I can shoot with my right eye, but I am left eye dominant. Soooo that is what I got.

I am sad thought because New Jersey does not allow hand guns (yea they are redic here) so I had to leave her at home. ¬†When you purchase a gun before you cross state lines with it you need to make sure you know the laws. New Jersey and New York to not allow hand guns or concealed carry (even if you are legal in your state)… so stupid but it is what it is. ¬†The people of New York and New Jersey gave up their 2nd Amendment..idiots! ūüôā Because we know how well criminals follow the laws, so you will not see any gun violence in these states… oh wait YES YOU DO!!! A pharmacy was being robbed here just the other day and the guy behind the counter was legally carrying because he is in the Army Reserves and he was able to stop the criminal! YAY responsible gun owners!

Sorry about my little rant. BACK to being super happy I am a gun owner and I plan on being a concealed gun owner soon and I will take my baby everywhere with me! YAY!!!





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So we wake up the next morning and are all wishing for a little bit more sleep, but oh well we have things to do.  So we wake up, have a great breakfast and get ready to go.  We have to take D into NYC to catch her flight and Trent told Neil and I that he could drop us off downtown.  We wanted to go to the DASH store , just to see it really so we took him up on the offer!

This is what Trent and I looked like that morning.  Hahaha!  A little on the rough side but oh well. Moving on: We said goodbye to D and Neil and I got down to business. Our first stop was Kate Spade. 

There is a necklace in Kate Spade and it says MRS.  SOOOOO I decided to buy one for me and one for my sissy!  We have a necklace that we both love because we love being married, but we also have a necklace that we share too. So that is super fun!

After we spent some time in Kate Spade we made our way over to Dash and a few other places. ¬†Dash sucks, let me just tell you. ¬†There was NOTHING there that I would ever want and it was expensive. Like expensive trash. So, from there we need to make it back to the Times Square area. ¬†Again, let me tell you it is 90 plus outside and we are walking it. ¬†At first it was no big deal. ¬†Then it was around 2:00pm and we were close but about 20 blocks away from where we needed to be. ¬†I looked it up on my phone and it said it would take us an hour to get there. ¬†So we hailed a cab but not after my sister told me I was sweating through my shorts. ¬†If you take note, I am wearing grey shorts and instantly become mortified. ¬†We got in the taxi and I told my sister I was worried because now my shorts were pressing against my butt and soaking up the sweat. ¬†She tells me she wants to see it so I kind of scoot so she can get a view and she breaks out laughing hysterically telling me she wants to take a picture. UMM NO! No pics. HAHAHAA! ¬†So After that I do not want to get out of the cab and walk the 2 minutes to Amsterdam Theater. AHHH! ¬†hahaha. It ended up being fine because well… there was nothing I could do about it.

We make it to our seats and the show starts.  At intermission I felt I could leave.  It is not because the play was bad, but I do not think I am one for musicals. HAHA. Neil felt the same way and when we were eating after we could not figure out why we did not like it.  I LOVE musicals, like on TV. I am all about Mary Poppins the movie. So I guess we do not need to do that again. YIKES!  We ended up eating at an awesome burger joint and ended the night..

Thats right CRUMBS! DELISH!!! ¬†We brought them home so we could share with Trent, but that was the weekend. We all had a wonderful time and it was a special 30th for my sister ūüôā


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So my sister turned 30 at the end of July and my parents paid for her and a girlfriend to come to NYC!  I have such great parents.

So the girls came in on a Thursday night and they were supposed to land just 10 min from one another, however that is never how it works in Newark. We get them an hour and a half after their original time slot and go home!

When Neil walks in the door, I of course have the house decorated and cupcakes were made.


Above us in the pic there are some puff balls I made out of tissue paper, they turned out pretty sweet and I am bummed I did not pick a picture with them in it, but moving on.  The next day we woke up pretty early for a day of shopping in the city. This would be my first time going through the city without Trent by my side and I was responsible for my sister and her friend.

We walked to the bus stop and we were already sweating bullets.  I swear it was 98 degrees outside and the pavement was reflecting that heat right back to us. We only had to wait a couple minutes but no one wanted to get on the bus first.  I wanted my sister to, she wanted me to and D was perfectly fine letting us fight it out. HAHA


We get off the bus and we made it to Times Square!  Here we go!!!

We walked around for several blocks and made our way into Central Park because I am part mom (without any kids) I lugged around with me 3 bottles of water and 3 baggies of homemade trail mix.  Since it was killing my shoulder to carry all this crap, I decided it was a good time for everyone to get a little snack and some water.  It was a hit! After we had recharged a little we headed over to 5th Ave!

So we made it to Tiffany’s and the stairway as you can see is a bit under construction…..

However the bathroom was beautiful and I thought we should capture the moment with a pic!  Looking good girls!!

After we stopped off af¬†Tif’s¬†we decided to head over to¬†FENDI¬†because if we are dreaming, we might as well dream big!!

There is a beautiful church behind FENDI!

We made it in front of Rockefeller Center and my sister was not feeling well about herself so she decided to place me in front of her so I looked like the fat one.  Here we are laughing about what she is trying to accomplish!

We got some food, did some more walking, grabbed some GELATO (SOOO GOOD) and ended our night in front of the Iron building, were some creepy guy took our pic for us. ¬†He asked me how old I was, I told him, then he asked what we were doing for the rest of the night. ¬†I responded with “Meeting up with my husband” and he said oh, I am too old for you anyway, but how old is your husband. ¬†I said “He is 28” and this guy said, Oh he is too young for me too.. WHAT?! ¬†WHAT just happened?!!

So we got some good laughs and made it back to the bus station and Trent picked us up so we could rest up for another fun day!

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So, oh my goodness. Let’s just jump right into updates shall we?¬†

First off some people have asked when my parents are moving.  They will be moving July 25.. so in a couple weeks!

This past Monday, Trent and I were talking and we decided to extend our stay here in our apartment. ¬†Our lease is/was coming up on July 14 and this job is lasting at least until the second week in August. ¬†So we went ahead and made the phone calls and we got the apartment until August 11!! YAY… Well yesterday Trent gets a call and there is a job in Delaware starting up between July 15-20 and Trent and I are both on that job. Ummmm.. Great news but horrible news. ¬†If we break our lease, we are on the line for $1,000. ¬†I do not know about you, but that is a good chunk of money. YIKES! ¬†We have not actually signed anything yet though, so that may be our only saving grace. ¬†However, I mean our apartment complex went out of their way to make sure we could stay longer and not we are kind of screwing them over by saying.. oh NM. and really only giving them a 2 week notice (we do have it in writing that we are leaving on July 14 though with no new writing that we are leaving on the August 11). ¬†Does this make any sense? So technically, there was only a verbal agreement.. but to me that is still an agreement. ¬†SO we will just see how that shakes down because I have never been on a job when it starts exactly on time.¬†

So if we are moving next On July 14, that means I have one week to pack up the house.  Trent and I are leaving on a plane this Tuesday (July 3) to go to my parents house and will not be back home until Monday (July9) night.  Soooo there is going to be a lot going on. A lot needs to be figured out, but I am not worried.  My Father in Heaven will take care of the timeline.  I just have to take care of the packing! Hahaha

Have a great Saturday everyone!!!

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So may favorite radio host Dennis Prager ¬†has a Happiness Hour (I believe it is on Friday’s… I can’t remember right now for some reason) but he states over and over that we are in control of our Happiness.¬† He makes a point to say that even if you are having a bad day, it is your responsibility to not pass that along to others (including kids and spouses).¬† He feels that being in a bad mood is like a sickness and you must do what you can to prevent it from spreading.¬† Now it does not mean that you cannot tell a best friend or a spouse what is going on in life.¬† It simply means that you act pleasantly, like what you would tell your children to do if they were in a bad mood in front of company.¬† You essentially tell them to lie about how they are feeling and make themselves appear to be normal. Which is fine, but for some reason we forget to do that as adults.¬† We go to work and let everyone know we are having a bad day, not because we confided in someone but because we bit their head off!¬† NOT OKAY!

And before you think I am on a trip right now, I am not. This is actually something I struggle with.¬† The bad part is, I do fine when I am at work.¬† I always have a smile on my face and even when frustrated with a person, I tend to be nice.¬† The problem is, I am not always pleasant at home and it is not because Trent has done anything wrong.¬† It is because a certain person at work puts me into such a funk that when I get home I am done being nice. I am done smiling. I am DONE! So what suffers? My marriage.¬† It effects how Trent and I interact, it effects my affection toward him (as in I am less affectionate because work stresses me out because of ONE person). So this is something I need to work on, that just because I am home in a “safe” spot to be moody, it does not make it okay.

So because it is easier to practice on someone else, than work on yourself… I tried this with Trent last night! HAHA. NO seriously though.¬† So when we leave for work we do not have the air conditioning on.¬† We really only put it on right before we go to bed. Well yesterday was super humid and hot, plus we used the oven which can really heat a place up.¬† So Trent decided to turn on the A/C a bit early. Well lo and behold the A/C decided not to work.¬† I was on the phone with my dad and I could see Trent getting mad. He was pounding the wall, making noises of frustration, and getting pretty angry (when he gets like this, I do not respond. I stayed on the phone and talk to my dad, when I know all Trent wanted me to do was get off the phone… but I am not about to leave my conversation and going into that snake pit).¬† Finally, Trent was exhausted with the A/C, he had called up the maintances hotline and asked if anyone was on duty.¬† They said they would put in a call ticket. Last time it took 2 days. So Trent sat down and glared at the A/C unit. I walked over and said. “Hey, let’s not do this. Let’s not get mad about something we cannot control.¬† There is nothing we can do to make the A/C turn on.¬† We both grew up without A/C, I can assure you it is not the end of the world”¬† He said he still wanted to be mad. So I went over and tickled him and said in a baby voice “Oh life is just so hard! I just want the A/C on and all it wants to do is be off. OH my goodness”¬† We laughed and it made the moment lighter.¬†

Come to find out he had hit a switch on the wall, so the reason why the A/C was not working is actually because of Trent! HAHAHA!!!¬† He said he felt stupid… i agreed ūüôā

But you see how in that moment I could have chosen to be angry with him and really elevated the situation. I actively (yes i thought about getting mad with him, I was sweating bullets after my workout) decided not to and controled my emotions so make it so my husband was a happier person. Even if just for a little while.  Next time I will try this on myself.  So I challange you to do the same. When you find yourself in a funk and just being a bit on edge (not even mean) try to think of who you are effecting around you.  Do you really want to bring them down to? I will try to do the same. So far (today) it is working! HAHAHA


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Oooo my! We have made it to Sunday and needless to say our family is in need of some relaxation.  Trent worked yesterday, I cleaned the house, did the laundry, worked out, and laid out (while he took a nap).  Today, Sunday is the day we get to spend together and just be. 

We LOVE routine. If I could be so bold to speak for my husband, I think we both really enjoy our lives routine.  It does not mean we do not know how to roll with the punches or that we never deviate and enjoy it.  It just means that we are content in the life that we have chosen for ourselves.  There are days of being grumpy, of enormous laughter, and everything in between but through it all it is ours and we really LOVE it. 

Today I have been thinking how happy I am with how everything has turned out. I have a husband who adores me (and I him), I have in laws who actually love me (and I them), and I have parents that I am close to (both of them), and I have a sister and a brother in law who already am so close to I invite myself over to their house without their knowledge and my mom is right on board with me. HAHA! 

I am a very blessed girl and I hope that I express that through my actions and words to those around me. 

Hope you are having a wonderful day too!

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So, I called my mom last night to catch up on our work week, when she told me some FANTASTIC NEWS!  Oh my goodness you guys, I am so excited about this. Okay, here we go.

My parents have a job offer at the school that my sister (Neil) works at in Florida.  My sister works at an international high school and kids live on campus (not all but most).  My parents have a phone interview today to become dorm parents.  They would work from 3pm Р11pm at night and pretty much just be mom and dad to the kids!  I feel like my parents really rocked at raising my sister and me, so I am super excited for them to take their school to other kids.  My mom has so much love and my dad is just a good dad. 

So this is what would happen:¬† They would sell their house (blessing), sell a car (keep the van), my mom would retire from her place of work, my dad would just stop working his job (it is a minimum wage job and only gets like 20 hours a week.. so no love loss there), they would move to Florida, live 1o minutes away from my sister, and BOTH be working full time and living debt free!¬† All I can see is positive’s all the way around for them.¬† It would also be nice because when I go and visit my parents, I would be able to see my sister as well.¬† Which would mean I would see her more than just once a year!¬†

So if you are the praying type, please pray that Gods will be done in this situation.  If it ends up not being the right fit, that is fine.  We understand the words no, but if they get pulled down there, there will be a spiritual battle going on.  The kids come from all different backgrounds and we know Satan is not one for anyone hearing the Truth or seeing it be lived out in daily lives.

Either way, I am very excited that they are even getting this opportunity.  SO FUN!

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Sorry this post is so late but here is our weekend with my mom and dad.
So we start off the day thinking we are going to ride the ol subway system. Well we go to the one train station and see that another train is coming in another location an hour earlier than this one. SO we run over there, park the car, realize no one has any quarters and the train is coming in like 10 minutes. So my mom and I go and try to get tickets, my dad and Trent run to go get 12 dollars in quarters. Well, they start taking forever. I am afraid to buy the tickets in case they do not make it in time.. We just do not know what to do. Well all of a sudden we see my dad and Trent sprinting to the car and then sprint to us. We buy the tickets and we wait…. we wait some more.. and we finally decide to talk to two guys who actually happen to be twins. They tell us the train will take us where we want to go and we wait…… and wait…. the twins decide to go for a walk and leave us there. We decide to go for a walk and we catch the twins getting on a bus instead. We decide to stalk and follow. This is a pick of us on a the bus. YAY we got seats on public transportation!!!

We make it to the Port Authority and realize that we need a little coffee to get the day started on a positive note.

As you can see mom and Trent was pretty excited about the Chia Tea Lattes. DELISH!
We walked around Time Square for a bit then made our way over to Central Park where it was completely different than I thought it would be. There are so many rocks there and trails. It is AWESOME!

We then got frisky with our pics and decided to be funny.

If you have not noticed, there is a clothing theme to these pics. My mom and I both own a white North Face. We both wore them. Dad does not own a black North Face but Trent owns 2 (one being old and now used for work and one being brand new)

Our friend J lives in NYC so we decided to meet up with him and he took us all around and we finally landed and a little place called crumbs!  This is the awesomeness that we found in the shop!

J than had to leave us, since we did not tell him we would be in the city until that morning. We walked to the Public Library and in the park, there is this awesome little drinks place. It was a deck with a bar. There is a fire pit and bench swings. It was AWESOME! So relaxing after an all day walking event. Here is mom and I swinging on our little swing.

AFter a couple more hours of walking, I decide I would like some pizza. My mom quickly agrees and it does not take long for the guys to get right on the pizza train. And this is how we ended our night! SOOOO DELISH!

After we warmed up by the fire for a bit we walked around some more and made our way back into Times Square so we could see it at night. SO BRIGHT!

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So, have I mentioned that my parents are coming to visit for Easter?  No?  Well they are and we are pretty excited about it.  They mentioned something before about coming but said it was too expensive than a couple weeks ago they said the prices dropped and they were coming. 

Well… they sent me their flight info and it happened to have the amount of the tickets at the end of it. I wish I had never seen it. ¬†I am sick about it. ¬†They paid the same amount to come out here that Trent and I paid to have a hotel and a plane ride to the Bahamas! ¬†I called up my parents and told them this (which was stupid because they already paid for it). ¬†My dads voice dropped and said “Oh, Jennabear I am so sorry you saw that. Oh man, I didn’t see that the price was on there before I sent it to you. I am so sorry”

I said something to the effect that I am glad Trent and I are worth that to them but they seriously did not have to. I know how tight money is for them, but they are coming out because they love us… well Trent and I usually pay for things with my parents, well all of our parents. ¬†No matter what parent it is we try to treat them because this is the time in our lives that we can. But now I really feel like my parents cannot pay for one thing when they are here.¬†

I also feel like I need to try and give them money back. I called my sister and she was like OH WOW!  I know what your feeling but they are ones that decided they could afford it. So let them afford it and deal with it how they need to.  Which is probably good advice, but my heart is not there yet for them. My heart is in the place of really going above and beyond for them.

I have guilt for no reason… but it is killing me… I wish I did not know….. BOOOOOOO


BUT I am SUPER excited to hang out with them in the City! 

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